Interviews

August 29, 2018 9:39 am Published by Kayla Brock 1 Comment

I decided to use this blog entry as a more thorough way of learning about my office co-workers. I learned they all have a good sense of humor, but no talent in writing poetry. I’m also not sure if I realized how young I am, or how old these office people are. I interviewed 10 employees and asked them the same series of questions. To save space, I’m going to post my asked questions below (I’ll only add to the conversation if someone(s) gets confused). Here it goes….

My Questions:

1. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?
2. Recite me your best haiku poem.
3. A penguin walks through this door right now wearing a sombrero. What does it say and why is he here?
4. Describe your life using three movie titles.
5. What’s the funniest joke you know by heart?
6. Who’s your favorite summer student?

Interviewee #1: Stuart LeBeck

1. “Pass” (LOL)
2. Stu: “Uhhh, what’s a haiku again?”
   Me: “5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables”
   Stu: *looks in the air* “Pass”
3. “Did you guys see the size of that chicken?” (I’m supposed to get this, but I don’t. Sorry, Stu)
4. “Sorry.”
5. “Pass”
6. (without hesitation) “Kayla”.

Thank you for at least getting question #6 right, Stu!

Interviewee #2: Bob Chipera

1. “Oh boy, I’d be a brown Labrador retriever. I’d always be happy, and every day is the best. I have one and she’s my role model.” (This sentence just made me smile)
2. This is a great day,
   If there wasn’t all this smoke
   BobChip says “eff it”
3. “Quesnel…Que Bueno! Estas son mis vacacionas”
4. The Hangover: “I might have a few beers after work tonight”
   Back to the Future: “I’m dreaming of the weekend…again”
   Easy Ride: “Bob likes to ride his mountain bike on Pinnacles Road”
5. “You ask me why the chicken crossed the road? I dream of a world where the chicken may freely cross roads and not have her intentions called into question!”
6. “Oh, you guys were all my favorite!”

Interviewee #3: Scott Turton

1. “A bird. Flying under your own power would be cool. And I can poop on anything I want”
2. Haikus are easy
   But sometimes they don’t make sense
   Refrigerator
3. “Where’s the beach and where’s the where’s the tequila?!” “He’s lost.”
4. The Big Lebowsky; Hot Dog Ski Movie; The Maltese Flamingo
5. “I’ll get back to you on that” (He never did get back to me on that)
6. *laughs* “Kayla, obviously.”

Interviewee #4: Rob Cochrane

1. “Can I say human? ‘Cause humans kick all other animals’ butts!”
2. Oh my God, I can’t
   Even think of a haiku
   I don’t want to (LOL)
3. “He’s looking for an extra $0.02 more per tree because of poor access” (All foresters que the laughter)
4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly; Cast Away; Forrest Gump
5. “Because I’m inactive, I prefer the DanActive yoghurt”
6. Kayla, duh.

Interviewee #5: Morgan Chenie

1. “I’d be a dog owned by myself because I know I’d be spoiled rotten.”
2. Evaporation
   From the oceans and lakes
   Goes into the clouds     (laughs out loud hysterically)
3. “I HEAR THERE’S TEQUILA!”. “He’s here looking for my tequila, Kayla.”
4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly; Hang ‘Em High; A Fistful of Dollars
5. “Whoever told you I was funny-LIED. Haha! *&!% I am funny!”
6. *rolls eyes and indistinctly mumbles Kayla*

Interviewee #6: Diana Sargent

1. “Oh, I’d be a cat. They have the ultimate life. Especially my cat. Yeah, I’d be a cat. But not a stray one.”
2. The big ugly frog
   Jumps quick into the water
   There is no ripple         (laughs out loud hysterically)
3. “He’s lost and is trying to find his way to Prince George because he took the wrong exit” (laughs out loud hysterically again)
4. Groundhog Day; Monty Python; Planes, Trains and Automobiles
5. “I always ruin the punchlines, so none ‘cause I either forget or ruin all of them.”
6. “Definitely not you: you put me on the spot!”

Interviewee #7: Fernando Barbosa

1. “OMG, it’s these kinds of questions. Really? Eagle. I like fishing and they’re a top predator.”
2. He couldn’t come up with a haiku
3. “Hola amigos. Dondes estas Antarctica?”
4. Good Fellas; Star Wars; The Simpsons Movie   (Fernando, you must lead a very interesting life)
5. “How do you catch a unique animal?   Unique up on ‘em!” (Does the high hat drum tsss sound)
6. “Kyle.” (Both our names start with a K so I think he just got confused)

Interviewee #8: Todd Gryschuk

1. “Elephant. They are big.”
2. Haiku, I dunno
   I dunno why I dunno
   I just do not know
3. “Hello. Is this Mexico?”
4. Todd emphasized I put these movies in this EXACT order: Rambo; Baby Boomers; Dumb and Dumber    (laughs from behind his desk)
5. “What do you call a – -…”
   Me (interrupting): “Keep in mind, this is being posted on the internet so try to make it like, PG-13”
   Todd: Ah, ok. Can’t say that one. Give me 5!”
   *3 minutes later*
   Todd: “What do you call a man in a hole?   DOUG!”
6. “Kayla, duh.”

Interviewee #9: Alexander Davis

1. “So, yah, I’d be an elephant. They have no predators and literally eat all day and stomp on trees which is cool. The only downside is when they die, their teeth decay so they starve which doesn’t sound fun. I’d have to watch for poachers too. And they have no worries and are quite social.”
2. Kayla’s annoying
   I like forests, trees and plants
   Kayla’s annoying

   (I do not approve)

3. “Why am I here?” “He’s from Antarctica- it’s really cold here, and he heard there were forest fires in B.C. and thought he’d come here to warm up.”
4. Fast and Furious; Forest Gump (I’m always in the forest, Kayla); Kung-Fu Panda (Okay, Alex…)
5. My life (LOL)
6. Myself (translates to Kayla)